U mad, bro?: Penguins fans boil over following Tristan Jarry's Game 5 flub

I had to strategize around Penguins games to figure out when to release “U mad, bro?” this week.

If I planned to post it in its usual Thursday morning slot, I’d have to wait until Wednesday night’s Game 6 between the Penguins and New York Islanders ended. And I’d have to write my postgame column first.

If the Pens lost, I’d have to sift through the mass volume of season-ending angst, bile and frothing reader responses before finding the most representative collection of unhinged emotion possible for this week’s “U mad, bro?” edition.

If Game 6 goes like Game 5 did, that could take … years!

Even worse — and hold onto your hats for this one — what if the Penguins actually … win it?

I know. I know. It’s a long shot. But then everybody would be in a good mood. And my cup o’ cranky that usually runneth over may go dry.

Luckily for me (and you), a gift from the hockey gods fell into my lap: Tristan Jarry’s horrific misplay and a Penguins 3-2 double overtime loss in Game 5.

STEAL. SCORE.

The @NYIslanders WIN GAME 5 in DOUBLE OVERTIME! #StanleyCup pic.twitter.com/fEV4mJaKlO

— NHL on NBC Sports (@NHLonNBCSports) May 25, 2021

That means there is plenty of frustration to meet our usual high Thursday standards on a Wednesday.

So with the Penguins down 3-2 in their first-round series to the Islanders, here is an all-hockey anger edition of “U mad, bro?”

A day early. But not too soon.

Bill has a two-word response for Tristan Jarry’s postseason thus far.

Tristan Niemi

— Bill (@landbill42069ha) May 25, 2021

Geez. And I thought I was being harsh with my “Neil O’Jarry” reference.

Josh Bailey tends to score enough against the Penguins on his own. Counting the playoffs, he’s got more goals (18) and points (51) against the Pens than any other team in his career.

He needed no help from Jarry.

R.R. has grown impatient with Penguins head coach Mike Sullivan.

“With superior stats in Game 5 — all except the final score — if Sullivan doesn’t change something for Game 6, he is part of the problem not the solution.”

In terms of the roster, I think because the Penguins dominated the way that they did, that’s the exact reason why you won’t see any changes, R.R.

Not many of substance anyway.

When the whole team plays well and the other team’s goalie steals it while your goalie blows it, who are you supposed to bench? I mean, Freddy Gaudreau for Evan Rodrigues? Go for it.

They kept the top line together in Game 5, and it was great. It just didn’t score enough. So should Sullivan make the change people were calling for and elevate Jeff Carter while demoting Bryan Rust now?

That seems backward, doesn’t it?

The only thing that Sullivan could change that would make any sense is the goalie. And Casey DeSmith isn’t making the trip to New York due to injury. Do you yank Jarry in favor of Maxime Lagace? Keep in mind, it’d be his playoff debut and just his third game since the start of 2018.

In terms of tactics, tell me what you want Sullivan to change specifically, then I’ll tell you whether he’ll do it or not.

Beyond all that, the changes you seek for the Penguins are unlikely to occur until the offseason. Then I bet we see a bunch.

Especially if that offseason starts Thursday morning.

Shawn is just mad at the NHL playoffs in general.

“I would rather watch a regular season full of fast skating, clean hockey and not worry about the Cup than see the Penguins change to a brawler team.

“The playoffs are a joke. They throw out the rules at the end of the regular season.”

Hold on a minute. Are you telling me the NHL has “rules” in the regular season?

Since when!? Can I get confirmation on this?

Actually, before Game 3, Chuck was feeling quite optimistic.

Tim I believe this will be the year that the Pens will win the Cup and the Steelers will the Super Bowl. Agree or disagree?

— Chuck (@Chuck61319482) May 20, 2021

Disagree, Chuck. At this rate, I expect Ilya Sorokin to shut out the Penguins in Game 6. Then he’ll move upstate and intercept Ben Roethlisberger twice as a member of the Buffalo Bills in the Steelers season opener.

Alan knows who could’ve saved the Penguins in Game 5 against New York.

“They simply lack sharpshooters. (Phil) Kessel would have had a hat-trick.”

Then how come he didn’t have one in any of the games against the Islanders in 2019 before he was traded? Or any goals on the final nine shots he took over the last three games of that series?

Let’s conclude with this post from the comments section at the bottom of my column recapping Game 5. It comes from “WG.” He’s my favorite kind of reader.

“WG” is your quintessential “why don’t these spoiled athletes go out and get a real man’s job like me?” kind of guy.

“Good! Too bad little millionaires. Go get a real job in the mines, sissies.”

Tremendous hockey analysis, “WG.”

Tell you what, if the Pens force a Game 7, how about you and Sidney Crosby switch jobs? Sid will take your shift in “the mines.” And you take Sid’s shift on skates getting cross-checked in the head for two-and-a-half hours by Scott Mayfield?

My guess is you’ll be running back to “the mines” before the ice crew skates out for the first television timeout.

Sissy.